The First
Hello Everyone,
This is my first ever experience of writing apart from my diary. The first blog might be a little emotional. Some people would call the emotions as frustration, anger and some sadness. Whatever this blog post and future posts that I might write are my ordeals after experiencing some of the harsh realities of life in this country. Harsh realities that were not totally inflicted on me but affected me partially. Now you would think, this would be some serious shit. But what is serious for me may not be serious for you. Everyone has got their own life experiences to learn and understand basic human nature.
Okay, then.
Let's start from what I think is the beginning.
When I was little, I used to go to my nani's house during school holidays. I would get so scared while entering my nani's house because of Rustom, a dog. He barked at no one except me. Reason? At that time, everyone said your fear is making him bark at you. Dogs sense these things. Obviously I was naive and did not know anything else other than getting scared of every other animal. Be it a cow going beside me on the road. I think, it was my parents who with time instilled in me that animals would not hurt you until you hurt them. They are helpless creatures who need our help to live in this world and we should do our part as developed species of animals to help them in whichever way we could. From the start, I have seen my nana and nani being sympathetic towards animals. May be all these things got instilled in me unconsciously.
If you don't hurt them, they won't hurt you.
This basic statement, some people still don't understand. Rustom could detect my fear and nervousness that maybe I was there to hurt him. My brother was two years younger than me and still was brave enough not to get scared of Rustom. I never got to feel love from him. I was not good at communicating with any kind of animal back then. Even after Rustom, when Tyson came, I was neither good to him. Yup little regrets. He was very sweet when I think of him now. I could never muster courage to love him and communicate with him. My bad luck.
Never knew one day I would feel so attached to a dog that I would go around helping every dog I found, thinking its him.
My mom named the two puppies left on our street after their mother was killed by a man in our street by hitting her on the head. She could not eat and drink properly after that and died a horrible death only because the man could not tolerate dog around his house or street.
These things might have been happening I don't know for how long but these were the first I encountered and could not even think of myself as human anymore. I felt guilty that some human like me killed those puppies' mother when they were still weaning.
Other puppies died in road accidents. The two left were chunnu and munnu. They were such playful siblings. One day munnu got some ear infection I guess and we tried helping him at home with medication. I didn't know about vets at that time or what possibly could be the reason for the pain and disbalance. THE NIGHT that I tried to save him and thought it might be rabies, I was crying inconsolably. I just wanted him to play again. That night, he did not want to be left alone. I was beside him all night. In the morning, he started eating normally. I was so happy. But happiness was not for long. I left him outside alone for just half an hour and he was gone, never to be returned. I searched for him everywhere. Day and night for more than two months. He was gone, leaving such a big hole in my heart. The hole that never got filled and still longs for him everyday. It was November 2018 that I met him, loved him and lost him. He gave me the purpose of my life. I see him in every dog I meet. May be he is somewhere and misses me.
I hope when I die, he would be the one waiting for me at the gate.
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